STFU Mello
by xXJeevas-sonXDXx
Summary: Mello just won't shut up. Matt finds a way to leave the blond speechless though. With the help of God? Hm, read and find out! Rating for Matty and Mellys colorful vocab Don't search for any sense, cause it all flew out the window as soon as I hit Submit.


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**_STFU Mello..._**

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I lay myself across my bed, stretching out my limbs and sighing contently. Another game finished. I slide my goggles down so they hang loosely around my neck.  
Blinking a few times, I reach up and rub at my watering eyes. It feels like I hadn't blinked in hours. For all I knew, I probably had not. Oh well, a small price to pay. I yawn and stretch again. My back arches and I groan a little at feeling how stiff it is from sitting up for too long. I lay there, eyes closed, content with the world. I feel like I'm on cloud nine. What a great feeling.

Another yawn manages to break free of my throat, and I snuggle against my pillow. A well deserved nap was in order. I turn onto my side, almost moaning in sheer bliss at how comfortable the damn bed suddenly feels. I lay there, waiting for sleep to take over. Everything is so serene, peaceful. Birds outside are chirping; the wind caresses the tree leaves outside, and I laugh at how poetic I'm sounding. My laughter is short lived though, for as soon as I feel myself drifting off into the sweet abyss of sleep and dreams, a little dose of reality comes bursting through the door of my room.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT!!"

Mello. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from groaning in annoyance. the _Maybe if I play dead for a bit, he'd leave me the hell alone_. HA! _That was a good one_ I think to myself as I feel the bed suddenly dip. Mello has sat himself down at the edge of my bed. I feel his glare on me, and I can't help but crack open a single green orb.

He keeps staring a me, he's too busy trying to chew the large piece of chocolate he had snapped off, and was currently bulging against his cheek. Resisting the urge to laugh at the sight, I turn onto my back with a small smile on my face. "Mm...S'up Mell?" I yawn theatrically, stretching my arms above myself.

I hear him snort. "Can't believe this shit..." He grumbles once his mouth is void of chocolate.

Sighing, I sit up. "Let me guess, Near beat you again?" I say, rubbing at my tired eyes. Probably should have worded my assumption a little better.

Mello gives me one of those 'You better learn to sleep with your eyes open, cause i'm going to strangle your ass in your sleep' kind of glares, and I grin sheepishly holding my hands up in surrender. "Sorry Mells, what can't you believe?" I say in a small voice. I know what that kind of tone does for the guys ego.

He smiles smugly. "Near," His expression quickly changes from smug to annoyed in a blink of an eye. "Little bastard, One stupid point, Matt. The damn powder puff scored one god damn point higher than me! And you know why?" he snarls at no one in particular. He isn't even looking at me, he's just glaring holes into my carpet.

I rub the back of my neck suddenly feeling exhausted. Near. I don't have anything against the guy, but damn, if he wasn't around I'm sure my life would be a hell of a lot less stressful.

"MATT!"

I jump and look at Mello, my eyes wide. I swear my fuckin' heart stopped for a second there. "S-sorry, what did you say?" I seriously needed to stop spacing out around Mello. It would kill me one day.

"I asked if you knew why, dumbass!" Mello shouts at me. Right, Near again. "No I don't Mell, why?" I ask my eyes now going back to their normal size.

He snaps a piece off his chocolate bar, and proceeds to glare at my wall, where a poster of Mario and Lugigi hangs proudly. I follow his gaze and frown. _Psh_, I didn't have the shit scared out of me just to be ignored. "Ya know Mell, If you're trying to intimidate the wall, I don't think its working" I say in the matter-of-fact tone I know pisses Mello off.  
It worked. He turns to look at me and I see the corner of his eye twitch in annoyance. _Ha, Mission accomplished!_. I mentally cheer to myself, while I wait patiently for Mello to tell me Why.

"I didn't capatolize a word. One word. A fuckin' WORD!" he raors. He attacks his chocolate bar with his teeth, and I laugh.

"Mell, can't you just let this little Near obsession go? It's only going to give you high blood pressure" I say with a sweet smile. I really want to cool Mello down. It looked like it was going to be one of those days where, by the end of the day, his ears would be ringing from all the yelling and cursing. And I was sooo not in the mood for one of those days. All I wanted, was a god damn nap. Was that really too much to ask?

As if on cue, Mello launched himself into full on rant/bitch mode, and began to list off random things that made Near unfit to succeed L, and blah, blah, blah. _Ugh, good lord. Smite me now. I beg you_. I closed an eye half expecting the roof to open up to reveal good 'Ol "Jesus Christ" pointing a snipers rifle at me. Then, I thought, how silly. Silly Matt. He's obviously a hippie! What with that long ass hair of his, He wouldn't point a gun at me. Maybe he'd clobber me to death with organic fruits and veggies. _Maybe._

I force myself out of my thoughts and watch as Mello paced back and forth in front of my bed. Ugh, he was going to leave a fuckin' hole if he kept stomping like that.

"Mell?" I say tentatively.

He ignores me. He's throwing his arms up in the air, and making other gestures as he continues to yell, or as Mello would say, "Speak firmly". I groan and try again. But still, I get nothing. He just keeps talking, and bitching, and blah, blah, blah. _Whatever. I don't fuckin' need this damn it!_ Not today anyways. I grab my D.S and tiptoe over to the door, looking over my shoulder every second, like I had just robbed a damn bank. I make it, and I pull the door open, walk out, slam it shut and **_RUN._** And I mean **_RUN._** Because once Mello notices I'm gone, my ass is going to be kicked into next week. And I like to keep my ass with me in the present.

I run at full speed down the empty hall way, I pass Roger on the way, and he jumps out of my way, falling flat on his old wrinkled ass in the process. I burst out laughing, still running mind you, cause the old bastard actually threw his _cane_ at me and it just barely missed. Geezer had pretty good aim.

I keep running until I'm at the front door leading to the yard where half the kids were playing. I breathe in deeply and let the air back out before walking outside into the bright August afternoon. _God, stupid sun._ I reach up and slide my goggles back into place, and my world turns orange. _Ah, much better_. I breathe in the warm air and make my way to the large tree on the other side of the yard. I sit under it, cool wind brushing past me. Switching on my Crimson D.S I start to hum triumphantly to myself.

I'm so jazzed I almost want to dance. But I won't, cause, I'm not crazy. Enough to do that anyway. Ha, I totally outsmarted Mello. "The douche is probably still up there talking to myself," I say out loud. And I soon regret it, as a boot bounces off my head, and lands in my lap. "OWW!!...WTF?!" And I actually say "W.T.F" cause I'm a geek, and damn proud of it, shut up.

I look up into the face of doom. My eyes widen, and he pinches my cheek roughly. "What the fuck, Matt?!" He yells. "Why'd you run off?! I wasn't done talking to you!" He pinches harder and my eyes water. I drop my D.S and reach up to try to push him away.

He finally lets go, and I rub at my cheek, which is dark red. Fuck, it hurt. Stupid Mello..."I got bored, so I came outside" I grumble, still rubbing my poor abused cheek. Mello scoffs and places his hands on his hips like I offended him. He cussed me out, and then proceeded to pick up where he left off. There had to be a way to get the asshole to STFU. A light bulb went on in my head, and I grinned like a mad man. Then again, I probably was one to do what I was about to do. I stood and Mello raised an eyebrow at me.

"Ya know Mello, you really should just STFU," I say, again, the actual letters, _get off my damn back!._ And I wait for the explosion.

_3_

_2_

_1_

**_Ding_**

"Matt, what the!-Mmph!"

I'm kissing him. Full on the lips. He stands there rigid, but he soon wraps his arms around my neck, and I slide mine around his waist. We kiss for a while before I decide to let him breathe, and to my extreme satisfaction, he says nothing. He just stares at me, lips parted as if he wants to say something, but he can't find the words.

I grin, and look up at the sky. By Joe, the hippie came through.

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_**A/N: **Holy, WOW. I have no idea what I was thinking while writing this. Gosh, I'm sorry! I seriously, Read this over when I was done, and my reaction was just, "WTF?" and yes I say the letters cause I'm a computer geek and that's the way I roll._

_Ahem..._

_Well, I decided to put this up anyway, to see if anyone liked it. It's meant to be cute, ha, kinda is if you bend over backwards and squint hard enough._

_**Review yes? Humor me, lol cause I know it sucks. **_

_Matty. _


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